How To Cope With The Personal and Emotional Stress of Caregiving

Alzheimer's not only affects the person with AD, it affects the entire family.

The greatest burden is placed on you, the caregiver. The personal and emotional stress of caring for a person with Alzheimer's are enormous and you need to plan ways of coping with the disease for the future.

Understanding your emotions will help you successfully cope with the person’s problems as well as your own.

Some of the emotions that you experience may be grief, guilt, anger, embarrassment, loneliness, and possibly others.

Grief

This is a natural response for someone who has experienced a loss.

Because of Alzheimer's you may feel that you have lost a companion, friend, or parent, and often grieve for the way the person used to be. Just when you think you have adjusted, the person changes again. It maybe devastating when the person no longer recognises you.

Many caregivers have found that joining Alzheimer support groups are the best way to get help to keep going.

Guilt

It is common to feel guilty for being embarrassed at the person’s behaviour, for anger at the person, or for feeling that you can not carry on and are thinking about nursing home placement. You may find it helpful to talk to other caregivers and friends about the feelings.

Anger

Your anger may be mixed. It may be directed at the person, yourself, the doctor or the situation, all depending on the circumstances. It is important to distinguish between your anger at the person’s behaviour – which is a result of the disease – and your anger with the person. It may help to seek advice from friends, family, and a support group.

Sometimes people feel so angry that they are in danger of hurting the person they care for. If you feel like this, you must seek professional help.

You may find yourself taking on the person’s responsibilities, such as paying the bills, housekeeping, cooking. This increase of responsibilities can be very stressful. It may be helpful to talk over your feelings with other family members or a professional.

Embarrassment

You may feel embarrassed when the person displays inappropriate behaviour in public. The embarrassment may fade if you share these feelings with other caregivers who are experiencing similar occurrences. It also helps to give explanations about the illness to friends and neighbours, so that they will better understand the person’s behaviours.

Loneliness

Many caregivers withdraw from society and are confined in and around their homes with the person with Alzheimer's.

Being a caregiver can be lonely – you may have lost companionship with the person and lost other social contacts due to the demands of being a caregiver. Loneliness makes it hard to cope with the problems of caregiving. It is helpful to make it a priority to maintain friendships and keep social contacts.